CHEMO CYCLE 09SEP18
The porridge is steaming HOT.
Had all the thoughts in my head today in a rush of inspiration. They vanish in the quiet of the night. BUT, if I may, tell you a story of the ride in fairyland when a medical Doctor looks you in the eyes and says, “you have stage 4C prostate cancer..”
Let’s fight it. What is next? There are many battle fronts. I am a smart guy, so …let’s fight it.
My children cried when they heard the news. The oldest said in a whisper, “thank you daddy for telling us you will fight.” The youngest said in a loud announcing voice, “we can do this together.” The middle one sat quietly in her chair and starred at the front of my shirt as if there was a sign with the letter <C> stamped in red.
The wife and I have now (went back and forth) for 18 months with a guarded demeanor that seems like an “out of body experience.” The diet. The water. The air. The sleeping arrangements. They all changed over this time to a “view from the outside” and “feeling of complete loss without losing one darn thing.”
We plan for the future using a ten year outline. At least I do most of the time. She is stressed. I can feel it when we embrace. I hear it at the snap of a voice. Nothing seems normal any longer.
AND now for the final thoughts. If you did not know I am a Bible believing, saved by grace; work of the Lord Jesus the (Christ), you do now. The journey is like climbing a steep hill. (We don’t have mountains in Wisconsin.) The hill top is just over the ridge. The ridge is full of thorns. The thorns break easily off when brushed aside. The air is cool and gentle on my face. The Lord has the BEST in mind for me. I can feel it in my bones.
Waiting at the top of the hill is a meal fit for a king and his mansion’s help. We worked for it. But it didn’t matter. He said it was free for the asking. We just COULD NOT accept that fact.